The Secret Language of Siblings

By Tracy Schruder

Growing up in a blended family with two older stepsisters, I often felt like I lived in a world of my own. My mom’s focus on us all but my older sisters, needed a bit more tenderness and attention. My mom always felt a sense of responsibility to overcompensate with them, due to the fact that they came from a broken home. This sometimes created a sense of separation between us.

As the younger siblings, my brother, sister, and I were left out of certain things, that ‘had nothing to do with us.’ So we were told and it usually ended up being about them going somewhere or getting something that we would all like but weren’t, for some reason, entitled to it. We learned how to survive this, without much guidance. We were pretty tough and accepting of the dynamics as we didn’t know anything different

The distance between my older sisters and us was obvious. They’d ignore us, swat us away, take our things without asking or tattle on us to our mom. In school , they acted like they didn’t know us. Their behaviour was hurtful but we learned to roll with the punches.

However, in response to this dynamic, my siblings and I found our own joy we even developed our own secret language called Pig Latin. It goes something like this; you add extra letters and repetitive endings to words, creating a coded way to communicate that was all our own.

😁

An example of Pig Latin – Hidaguy , howdagow aredagar youdagoo? ( Hi, how are you? ) 🤷‍♀️ 😆

It was our way of asserting independence and having fun, right under the noses of our older siblings and parents.

My mom would chuckle and call us “silly little children” when we’d speak in Pig Latin. Little did she know, we were often discussing the intricacies of our family dynamics or venting about our living situation. Plus we never wanted to hurt anyones feelings, it was a great way to vent frustrations to each other.

As we’ve grown older, this secret language has become an ingrained part of our sibling bond. We still use it today, and it never fails to infuriate our older sisters and provoke intense belly laughter 😂.

Looking back, I’m grateful for this quirky aspect of our childhood. It’s a reminder that even in the most challenging family situations, we can find ways to create our own sense of identity and connection. Our secret language may have started as a way to cope with our differences, but it’s evolved into a lasting bond that brings us joy and closeness.

Do you have a secret language that you share only with your click?