Settle Down

By Tracy Schruder

If I could give my teenage self advice based on my current experience, it would be to settle down. As a teenager, I was wild and restless, with little patience and a stubborn determination. I partied hard, often suffering from hangovers, but that never slowed me down. I attended school every morning, regardless of my condition, and even held a job at the same high school, working in the office and library.

Between the ages of 15 and 17, I worked in the office, preparing morning announcements and handling late slips for students. I also directed students to the waiting area for meetings with the principal. During my lunch break and after school, I worked in the library, checking in and out books, and using the Dewey Decimal System to shelve them.

In hindsight, although I was achieving success in my studies and career, I realize I rushed through it all, taking on too much and moving too fast. I also regret not appreciating my amazing boyfriend at the time. I was young and refused to commit, dragging him along until he eventually left and started a family with someone else.

If I could go back, I would advise my teenage self to settle down, take a breath, and seriously consider a life with children. I could never really grasp the importance of having a family back then. I likely would have had children and a rewarding career had I heeded such advice, by now.

Although I am satisfied with how my life has turned out, I do have some regret about not having children. I occasionally imagine what my life would be like being a parent or if I could have given birth to a boy or a girl but reality always comes to mind and I chose to live in the present with all the joy and happiness that comes with it.

I am fulfilled through the love of my nieces and nephew, as well as the next generation, which is currently growing every year. I now have four great-nieces and am very close to them all. I’m grateful for my husband, pets, and successful career, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Who knows what the future holds?

I conclude this blog post with a well-intentioned piece of advice to my teenage self: “settle down.” However, I’m aware that deep down in my heart, I know I wouldn’t have listened to it. In all likelihood, things would have unfolded exactly as they have, regardless.